I Suppose I'll Have to Get a Job

My secret murders have been witnessed by the Eye of Horus
The cries of children I stole created a ghastly chorus
With a virgin’s intestines I encircled the five-pointed star
I performed every ritual in the blackest grimoire.

After performing the vilest acts of all
There has been no sight of Astaroth or Baal
Having exhausted the depths of the macabre
I suppose I’ll have to get a job.

I boiled babies in their mothers’ blood
And drowned them in a semen flood
I’ve tattooed myself and opened up my veins
And smeared my walls with feces and brains

But after all the rituals all that remains
Is an acrid stench and crusty stains.
I see now that I’m just a lazy slob
I suppose I’ll have to get a job.

There is a god and he loves us, is what I used to believe
Jesus is said to have said ask and you shall receive
But I asked for every single thing that I could conceive
And I came to realize that there is nothing prayer can achieve.

And now that I have thoroughly explored the other side
I know that there’s nowhere for magic and hope to hide
A painful, pointless struggle is all that life can provide
And since I’m too much of a coward for suicide

I suppose I’ll have to get a job.