But these days there are millions of people like me who are always searching for ways to spend more on beer without increasing the amount consumed. The beer from the guys the big guys is too cheap! So I walk into my local expensive beer store and look around. Already I can feel my debit card warming my right buttcheek. I see Belgian ales aged in Madeira barrels, sour beers brewed in Texas, Japanese beers aged in Scotch barrels. I check my bank balance on my phone and see that my paycheck was freshly direct deposited. Mmmm, I can't wait to wipe that fucker out. But what should I get? Who's the sexy beer that gets to go home with Mr. Money?
A row of stubby BFM bottles caught my eye. $8 for 11.2 ounces? Now you're talking. Let me look at you closer. BFM: Brasserie something or other. 10.3% is a very sexy ABV. But wait. I'm not all about the alcohol. Otherwise I would just go buy some cheap hooch. See, I went to college. You have to appeal to my mind if you want me to drink you. And I like what I see. The red star appeals to the socialist indoctrination I received from my hippie professors. And BFM is like KGB, SLA and FARC. Yeah, man. If this beer could smoke and wear a hat it would smoke black cigarettes and wear a beret. BFM, you're coming with me.